Feeling lost

Im just a little over 5 months pp and suddenly I feel like i lost myself. I love my son and love spending time with him but i feel like I’m not satisfied with my life. My husband is great and so supportive, but I feel like i lost my love for him all of a sudden. He just loves differently than me. I’m so intense and he’s just a really chill guy. I’m so passionate about everything i do and he just loves being comfortable and is just passive towards a lot of situations. Sometimes our different personalities add balance but sometimes i just wish he would overreact just so i can feel he’s alive.

I know he loves me and he loves our son, he’s always there and he definitely tries his best, but I’ve been feeling like it’s not enough anymore.

My job is so demanding and so competitive, i used to love the challenge but now i just dont enjoy it anymore. I can tolerate it, and my boss really likes me and treats me so wonderfully, but i lost all interest in the job. I can’t quit because the money is way too good and i know we can’t live off my husband’s salary.

I used to be a competitive athlete and i love fitness so much, but now with the baby i push myself so hard to go to the gym 5 times a week, which means I have to sacrifice on sleep and downtime to have a couple of hours of the only thing that gives me joy these days.

This might seem like im just whining over what we all go through, and I might have it better than a lot if people and i am really grateful, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy.

I just want some support because i feel like i have no one to talk to. I’m just trying to find myself outside this mommy/wife box.