The BODY on this thing is KILLING ME!!

How does one understand and choose to be comfortable and happy with their body? I don’t know how to look at myself in the mirror and see that muffin top that makes me look so pudgy. I don’t want children and I understand it’s natural thing for children, but I don’t need it. I hate it. I hate me. I love kids though (just for those of you who may misunderstand). I don’t know how to look at the fat on my arms and be like “it’s okay, most of it is muscle” because it doesn’t look like muscle when I’m not flexing. I just... I want to be happy. How do you do that?