Bad Father’s Day

My husband works third shift, 6p-6a. My daughter is an early riser, usually up at 5:30 am so I didn’t set an alarm to be up when he gets home from work. Well, my daughter decided to sleep in yesterday, go figure. So I wasn’t up when he got home. I heard him moving around and got up. He wouldn’t talk to me and was clearly upset. He just went to bed pretty quickly after that.

Several days prior to Father’s Day, I told him I was taking our daughter to an event that morning, since he would be sleeping, but stated I’d be back by noon. He didn’t have an issue with it since he always sleeps until 12:30! So we made family plans for the afternoon, so he could sleep. He ended up waking up at 11:30 yesterday and called/texted me all pissed that I dare do something without him on Father’s Day. I explained that we had already DISCUSSED this and that I’d be home by noon, and I was home by noon. He continued to just scream at me, in front of our toddler. I tried multiple times to smooth it over and make the day okay but he wasn’t having it. Wouldn’t accept his gift, or coffee, or anything saying “I literally want nothing from you anymore.”

I get being disappointed that the day didn’t go as you had mentally planned but am I really that terrible of a wife? He has been non stop telling me I’m a “selfish fucking bitch” and that I’ve “completely ruined this marriage.” Am I being selfish? Our daughter NEVER sleeps past 6 so I think it’s pretty unfair of him to be pissed that I didn’t set an alarm and we talked about me going to do something in the morning, and he said fine, since he sleeps at that time anyway.