I'm exhausted

I've been saving up for a divorce. He doesn't know. He's cheated more than once and I'm the bad guy for not being back to pre-pregnancy weight. I shot up to 200. (I'm 135 now.) He's extremely manipulative so I don't have much/any help from others because they see him as this good guy that can do no wrong, but it's just a mask.

I had some saved up he doesn't about. He just decided to buy a car without running it by me so I had to pull money from savings so we could pay rent.

He ruined my Air Force career by leaving our 8 month alone at home while I was at work. They didn't think it was fair he was the only one being punished so I was given the choice of get out under honorable or face court martial. I stupidly stayed and had another kid with him.

I'm tired.