Going against family to be with love of my life

I’m writing here just to vent because I’m hating this whole situation I’ve been for the past several years.

I chose to be with a man who’s different religion and ethnicity than me. We love each other more than anything and want to get married. His family is okay with us. My family is totally against him. I study in a different country (that’s how we met), so my family didn’t get a chance to meet him in person yet, which is a part of the problem.

I want to stay for graduate school here and be with him here for couple more years before we move to a different country, closer to our families.

My parents want me to come back home asap and cut ties with him. I am not doing that because I love him too much and it would physically kill me to leave him. They obviously don’t understand that. I just hate that I have to go against my family for my own happiness. It makes me feel selfish. They also say that my grandma is in the hospital because she was stressed too much because of me. Basically in their eyes I’m ungrateful and hurting the entire family.

What makes the situation even worse that they payed for my entire education so I feel obligated to follow whatever they ask me to do. Btw I’m a straight A student and graduated with honors. They don’t care about any of that though, they just want me to come back and don’t marry him.

It hurts my heart to go through this. I am not leaving him which makes me “betray” my family...

Also my mom is very controlling and toxic person to be around, which is why I don’t want to come back. She’ll make my life hell on earth if I do.

This whole situation is so complex and someone will be hurt no matter what I do.

If anyone has any advice, it would be appreciated..