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Question

My fiancé expressed to me he would rather me stay home and care for our child. I didn’t know how to feel. I almost feel guilty staying home and not working. But I know we would be better off because daycare is so expensive in my area, and although I have my degrees, I still wouldn’t make much after paying for daycare. The only thing I thought of, is if I work a day or two on the weekend or night if I wanted to. But then I wouldn’t see my fiancé ever and that would not be okay with me.My fiancé makes about $35-40 an hour and with his new job promotion he will be making $65 an hour for the next couple years so I know I will never make more then him. I just worry because this means we will have to move out of town soon, I won’t have any friends nearby, and I know this a lot of change fast. He already doesn’t get home till almost 7 now and I know when he starts the new work, it will be even later.. I’m just stressed out, and I don’t want people to think less of me because I’m not working. I also feel bad because I’m 25 and have always worked even in high school and college. My fiancé keeps saying taking care of the kids is a job itself, but I just don’t know. Do you enjoy it?

Answer

I stay home with my kid. My fiance works. I keep the house in order and play with the kiddo and we have a time. Don't feel guilty. It's okay. No one will look down on you for being at home for your kid. Your husband makes plenty of money. It's okay. Just try it. An if you still don't like it after a year or so then go put the kid in day care and go work.

Answer

I think it’s a blessing when you get to stay at home with the kids and the dad is able to provide for everybody. Don’t worry about what anyone will think. Many moms would kill to be able to stay at home with their kids and raise them on their own. Enjoy this new chapter.  It’ll take time but you will get used to the new routine.

Answer

Similar situation, we have 3 children now. I worked (have always worked since I was 15) and I loved it, and have a degree. My husband and I discussed at the time having more children and right when I found out I was pregnant he was accepted to medical school in another state. He would be gone 14 to 16 hours a day, 6 to 7 days a week. It isnt easy kids are a 24/7 job and since we have no family or friends near it's hard to get help or relief but financially it was better for me to quit and stay home plus with no family near it was better I could be home for sickness or when school was out etc. I never thought I was built for the SAHM life but I surprised myself. I'm no super mom but the kids are happy and healthy and I enjoy being home and being part of everything unlike with my oldest I worked long hours and felt like I missed everything. Like everything else it has it pros and cons. There was a point when I  worried people would hate my decision or have something negative to say about me staying at home but to my surprise everyone applauded me and understood how hard it is. So surprisingly I got more respect from others instead of being made to feel "lazy" about not working or contributing to the household. My husband tells me frequently he couldnt cut it as a stay at home dad. After one tantrum hes done lol

Answer

No one should ever make you feel bad about caring for your own child. Your husband is right, staying at home is as much work as a job outside the home and could easily be the hardest one and most rewarding one you’ve ever had.

Answer

Same exact situation. You get used to it

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