Can’t decide what to do?

Recently joining the navy has been on my mind a lot. When I was a sophomore in high school a recruiter came and talked to my class and i was so into joining. I stopped thinking about it due to my friends and family and then I started dating my boyfriend. After graduation my boyfriend decided to join the navy. He can be very compulsive but he always ends up just going with the flow and loving everything he does. It was very hard knowing that he was going to be leaving and it would be changing the dynamic of our lives together. I started school at my local college but I still always had that feeling in the back of my head that I still wanted to join. I was able to go to his graduation of boot camp and I got very upset at myself. Seeing that he didn’t let anything come in the way of him doing something so big with his life, something that had been stopping me from joining really made me really reconsider joining. But now it feels very complicated to me. I started school and I want to finish school for nursing, but I still want to join and do school but I can’t decide if I’d want to do active or reserves. I know I could get college credits it I did the corpsman in the navy but I always think deeper like what if I don’t end up liking the navy life so then I start thinking f maybe I should do the reserves test the waters and still be in it while being able to finish school. I’d also be easier on our relationship not that that’s a deal breaker on my decision but it does play a a part of my decision. There’s been many things that have been scaring me from joining, like what if I fail boot camp and then the judgment from people, assumptions of people thinking I’m just trying to copy my boyfriend or follow him. I will get anxious with all these thoughts about such a big life changing decision. I’d like some input just about anything to help me make this decision. Anything that helps me ease my mind would really help thanks you guys❤️