help :) !!!

this is more about my well-being mentally, I wouldn’t consider myself confused at all. I know who I am, and I understand my preferences. I’ve been bisexual for about nearly 3 years now. I’m certain of my sexuality, even if my parents weren’t. I learnt to love myself... that’s when girls started to find me ‘pretty’, that’s what’s leading me here- I need your advice; girl to girl.

here’s what I need help with xx

I’m 13! when I was 10, I immaturely said 13 would be a good year to start heading towards a girl/boyfriend. my mum agreed (only to the bf part), but that age would be fine. I’ve been 13 for a while ofc. and there’s this girl at my school, let’s call her R. well, R she likes me, she confessed via text in Hangul (korean) because I’m into KPOP etc. she’s a very caring girl, pretty- the epitome of a perfect ‘first’ but what’s holding me into skepticism is- shes asked me out... I dont know why- but I rejected her, in a sane orderly manner of course, she understood- but I don’t feel like she’s happy now? Before I knew she liked me I told her I like this other girl (S), In R’s eyes S is far too pretty etc. R seems to deflate and bring herself down... S seems to be making herself seem perfect, like she needs to be perfect... they both struggle with eating. was it my fault? I know I affected both their feelings, I don’t know if saying no to R was right- I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense! but I don’t know what girl of the two I like.. this isn’t me trying to be rude or picky- but they’re both so equal in every way.. they care they really do. but me- I feel like I’m treating the two wrong by leaving them ‘hanging’ when all I want is neutrality, and it’s hard, it really is when I feel like they’re both ‘competing’ for me- I’m 13, far too juvenile to handle mere consensus etc.. how do I handle this? ❤️ thank you for reading!