Children's birthday parties

I am not a parent yet (first child due soon) so I'm sure my opinion on this may change.

There are 7 nieces and nephews between my husband and I. For the last 12 years we have gone to every child's family birthday party. It becomes overwhelming because my family is spread out (a few hours apart) and 5 of the birthdays are within 1 month of each other. The parties are rarely condensed so each child has their own event and family is always invited and expected to attend. Most of the children do not have a separate kids party (to include their friends or kids in their class).

Do you always invite extended family to the child's party or do you keep it small? Do you expect the child's aunts and uncles, other relatives, to be there? Are gifts expected? Do you allow the child (when they are old enough) to choose what they want to do such as sleepover, movies, pool party etc, thus eliminating the large family party?

Thanks!