Ruining lives

I'm 17 and have had a lot of things happen recently. At the end of May, my best friend called the police on me because he knew I was suicidal and was worried about me. Long story short, they admitted to me the hospital and then transferred me to a mental hospital. When I got out of there I had to go to group therapy three times a week. Now, both at the hospital and at this new therapy I lied to get out sooner. I told them I was never suicidal and I just didn't think before I told my friend. On the inside though, I knew I still needed help. I currently go to a therapist who I opened up to. I told him about my attempts, my depression, anxiety, everything. He was the only one who knew about all of this. Throughout this whole time, my parents are in the process of adopting another baby. Obviously, the agency needed a letter from my therapist saying Ik safe to be around a new child, which I am, I would never hurt someone else. My therapist ended up including everything that happened in the letter, which my parents did not tell the agency previously. They immediately disqualified my parent's application because they did not know this. This is all because of me and they have made sure to let me know that. My parents refuse to speak to me and continue to tell me about how this was one thing they were looking foward to and how I did this on purpose. It is extremely hard for me to handle because I dont want to live the rest of my life knowing I ruined my parent's lives. Also they said that if this adoption does not go through (which it will not) they are sending me for residential treatment and I wont be able to complete my senior yest at my high school. I need help with how to handle this because honestly I'm so lost.

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Posted at
Wow...this sounds really tough...I’m really sorry to hear about all this. It sounds like you need to continue speaking to your therapist and for now...tbh leave your parents be. I’m sure they are feeling lots of emotions right just like you. Maybe consider start doing family therapy sessions. Allow ur parents to talk individually to a therapist then together with a therapist then with all u guys. This kind of remind me of a video I was on YouTube. The parents blamed the main character for the death of a twin sister but never told her. In her POV she just saw her parents hating her but she never knew why. When she found out things started to make a little more sense and they started family therapy. Apparently their relationship started to get better after a bit of time and will continue to strengthen. Ik there are more variables here though. Was this some help? I’m sorry if it wasn’t. Is there anything else you would like to say?

br

Posted at
I’m not sure if I have any helpful advice, but I’ll be praying for you and your situation. If you feel you need help and realize that then it would probably be best to get the help. As for your parents, I can’t imagine that they would feel you ruined their lives. They may be upset at this moment but I’m sure that will only be temporarily and they will get over it. I’m so sorry you are going through this but this will pass and you will come out stronger! Keep your head up darling!