Mental health

So my mental health is all over the place lately. I was doing so well but everything come crashing down on me. The main thing is, I do not feel good enough for anyone or anything. I try my absolute best in life and I seem to have low confidence, low self esteem. I have anxiety, social anxiety, depression, bpd, just so many labels. I'm not on medication and I haven't started treatment at all. I am 30 years old and I'm married, don't really own much but a car which I am thankful for bc it gets me around. My best friend is my husband. I have a decent relationship with my parents. Outside of that, that's all I have but like I said, I am thankful for them. I just feel like my mental health is taking a toll on my life. I have trouble socializing and being myself around people I don't know. I keep to myself. I just feel lost like maybe I'm not where I'm suppose to be in life? Idk. I recently discovered cover girl insta filter. I love it bc I get so nervous around people bc I think I've done something wrong or they will judge me so in social situations my face and chest turn bright red. I feel like it has saved my life from more embarrassment. I'm having a hard time and my husband keeps saying something like I need help or whatever but I don't understand why he is with me if he don't like who I am. If I need professional help. I don't know how anyone can change my life for me. Just don't get it. I could talk for hours but long story short, my brain is totally messed up and idk if it can be saved. I also take keppra for epilepsy.