I can't even sleep guys

I'm going to college soon. VERY soon. I am terrified. That's maybe an understatement. I have anxiety and though I've been managing it for years, school is just one of those things that turn it back on like a light switch. Sure theres the usual stuff I see everywhere, scared of making friends and stuff, but that's not what I'm really afraid of. I had to kill myself to get through high school. I had to study and work my ass off and so often, even just sitting at my desk to start homework would throw me into a panic attack. I dont know if I can do it. Everybody keeps telling me I'll be able to but I dont know if I'll want to if I have to destroy myself again for 4 years just to do it...