My husband is too good for me.

I love my husband. He is lovely, handsome, and kind.

Every time I hate myself because of our miscarriages he stops me. Every time I'm disappointed in myself because of my past of abuse, he adores me. Though he's a bit clueless around the house, he always offers his help. He is not frustrated with me when I am bed bound because of my lupus. He's always supported my dreams, tells me I can do anything I set my mind to and that I just need to figure out what I really want to do and I'll succeed. Is open to the idea of moving where I want and me staying at home once he finishes school and starts his career where hell make enough money to support both of us. Tells me everything I cook is delicious and doesnt eat any of my food restrictions around me.

My whole childhood I was told I was worthless, useless, only good for one or two things, and would most definitely fail. That I only deserved a man that would beat me and enslave me. That I didnt deserve love.

I dont know how I was blessed enough to find this man at 16 (he was 17), and that i could win him over and that he would continue to love me despite weight gain, disability, and the loss of every child we concieved. It has been about 9 years since we became friends, and in a couple months it will be 8 years since we started dating. With my self esteem issues I would have probably accepted any man, and yet I got this awesome, beautiful, healing relationship.

I dont know how I got so lucky and the thing is... this fool tells me that he thinks he is the lucky one.