Am I wrong for not wanting to go to my friend’s wedding ?

I should preface this by saying I’m a homophobe. I don’t support homosexuality and neither do I like it. This is mainly because of my religion and how I was raised. I understand however that these things apply to ME, not you, not your friends or your family.

I don’t care about what you do with your life. I don’t have a right to question your preferences and your dating options or insult them. I understand Christianity is debatable and questioning it is perfectly fine however, insulting it is not.

That being said, these were the same words I said to a girl I met during my first year in college. She stayed in my dorm a few rooms away and we’d sometimes walk to class together. I told her how I felt about homosexuality and she laughed it off although she claimed to be bisexual herself. She still didn’t mind hanging out and we continued to do so till she graduated.

On Thursday I got a call from her and she excitedly told me she was getting married. I congratulated her and she asked me to be there. I said of course, I would see if I were able to make it. We spoke a bit for a while and I asked her fiancé’s name. The name she gave me was not a male name. To be absolutely sure, I went on Facebook and did a quick search to find out that she was getting married to a woman.

I thought, ok, that’s fine, I don’t care but I’m definitely not going to the ceremony and when I explain this to her, she will understand as this was a conversation we had before. So I called her and explained this to her.

She did not understand.

She yelled at me, calling me all sorts of names and I yelled back because I did explain this to her. She said that I was immature and should grow up and that hateful people like me should not exist. I explained that I did not hate her and I was in fact happy for her. I just couldn’t take part in her wedding. She said if I truly did not hate her I would not be hurting her like this and it was just a wedding. I tried to explain again how I felt, to no avail. I wished her the best and hung up.

Now my phone and even my emails are flooded with texts and calls and emails from mutual friends and even her family. They all call me some sort of variation of asshole and that’s fine they can think that.

But considering that I did inform her of what I felt and she had proper information about my opinions, am I the asshole for acting according to my words?