If you and your s/o don’t agree on having kids is it a dealbreaker?

Question

So when I’m older I want to have kids, well one kid. The person I’m with and hopefully will be with forever says he never wants kids, it’s out of the question for him. I get that you don’t get to do as much stuff because you’re raising and spending money on a baby but I want one when I’m older. Call me crazy but I’d rather love my own baby and watch them grow up then go to some other country for vacation. I really love my boyfriend and I’m hoping as he grows up he’ll want one two, but am I just having hopes on something that’ll never happen?

Answer

if you guys know now you dont want the same thing, its honestly better to call it quits now instead of hoping someone changes their minds

Answer

I married my husband knowing he didn't want kids, but I kinda sort of did. It wasn't too much of a deal breaker since I was on the fence and I knew either way I would be happy because I'm happy with my husband and he's what I wanted for the long run regardless. Well I did accidentally end up pregnant (BC fail) and we were both happy about it. He was more happy than me at first since I was just freaked out lol. After our first my husband came to me and said he was ready for a second!!! I couldn't believe it lol. So I'm not trying to give you high hope because I know some don't change their mind and the relationship ends terribly. But there are some where the person does change their mind. It's just ultimately up to how you feel about it. If having children one day is an absolute dealbreaker for you then I probably wouldn't stay. But if you could be happy in life knowing one day that it might not happen then I would still run with it.

Answer

We discussed big things like this the moment we started dating. We dated with every intention of getting married. We made sure we were on the same page early on 😊

Answer

When I was 18/19 I met this guy. We were totally incompatible. We didn’t get along and our “life goals” couldn’t be more opposite. He didn’t want marriage or kids and I did. He even tried to convince me to go to city hall and get legally married so he could get a bigger paycheck when he went into the Air Force (all the while not being actually married). I thought I could change his mind and he was a loser. Find someone who wants the same things bc you can’t change what someone wants. You might think you can “trap” them into something but it’ll only turn out bad

Answer

It definitely would have been. We talked about kids prior to getting married and he knew I wanted atleast 4 and agreed to it lol if we hit a financial hardship that affected our ability to care for that many then it would be understandable but just changing his mind knowing how important it was would definitely cause issues. If we already had children at the time of his revelation then I don't think it would be divorcable over but he'd definitely get shit for the next 30 years everytime I saw a big family 😂 if we didn't have any kids yet, I probably would have left him. 
Pregnant with our 4th now and he said no more but then yesterday he made the comment "we're gonna end up with like 6 kids, aren't we?" So I'm thinking the possibility of more is still open for discussion with him, we'll see.

If you and your s/o don’t agree on having kids is it a dealbreaker?

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