Unplanned pregnancy

I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant and it was fully unplanned.

We’re both 23, he’s in the military I’m still in college.

I got off of birth control bc I was having such bad symptoms for about 8 years and just wanted a break.

Within the first month, we got pregnant.

I told my husband it was his responsibility to be careful for once and we got really drunk one night and it happened.

He’s says it’s up to me with what I should do, but I don’t want to have a baby if he doesn’t.

He never seems excited about the idea but says he can come around to it.

I’m not overly thrilled either but we’ve been together for 8 years and married for 2, if we can’t be excited now, will we ever?

I’m scared and nervous to give up my life but I’m content.

I feel like he doesn’t understand bc it’s not growing inside of him.

I’ve dreamt about what this baby would look like for years and I’m unsure.

We want kids just didn’t think it would be now.

It just sucks bc he’s always joked about putting a baby in me, we’ve had serious conversations where he’s wanting a baby and now it’s here I’m getting something else.

I just see people my age having kids and they’re excited and their spouse is excited and it’s easy and fun for them.

I love my husband but I keep questioning why aren’t we mutually happy.

I feel bad about being happy about it when I know he’s hesitant.

We love each other very much and I know we’ll be okay, but I don’t want to put him in a position he’s not comfortable in.

He wants to try again next year but I don’t want to put my body through an abortion just to plan one year later when it’s convent for him.

Were just confused and unprepared.

I feel like if he was okay with it, I would be and it’s just not turning out like that.