thought about posting this poem long and hard. I use to do it all the time not scared about what people might think or say. So im gonna post it anyway. Called Needed you

thought about posting this poem long and hard. I use to do it all the time not scared about what people might think or say. So im gonna post it anyway. Called Needed you

Needed You By: KaLeigh Maness

For five years, five years

We needed you.

Why did you have to go away?

You didnt even get to have a birthday.

I couldnt feel you inisde that itself makes me wanna cry.

April 19, 2014. 6 weeks and 4 days....

A year where we though we wouldnt make it.

Why did you have to go?

Was it the wreck, stress, the pain pills, cause hell I didnt even know.

You'd be 5 this year.

Beautiful and bright but i dont even know if you were a daughter or son from the lord.

I ache.

My heart aches cause we Needed you.

Have you ever had a want you desire so bad?

That when it gets taken from you, you wish you never had it.

Why did God need you more?

Couldnt he see that we Needed you?

We cant be angry with you God because you have given us so much but we would trade everything in our life to be parents you see.

Its a want that i feel is a need that would make our broken hearts complete.

Did you hear me God lastnight crying in the hospital bed?

Praying for a baby growin inside.

I begged you and pleeded and then the doc came in telling me the test was a big fat negative.

Why give me the positives to just have the hope taken away.

Why tease me with a chemical for it to be a fake?

Is this the devil trying to even the plate?

I give myself to you lord, jesus take the wheel.

My heart is broken and lost in fear.

Fear of what the future might hold.

Am I doomed to never concieve?

Should i just shut the door?

People have babies when they least expect. Some are drug addicts, in prison, or abusive.

Is it not what we need?

Me and James want to be parents so badly you see!

We needed you.

I didnt event know if your eyes were blue.

If his smile or my singing voice would shine through.

If youd have long cruly hair like your mom or be tall like you dad.

Angel mommy and daddy miss you so bad.

We needed you.

Maybe this is for the best.

Maybe i should just give it a rest.

Me and him should just focus on each other.

Getting through all of these daily life struggles.

You sit high on them clouds and dont frown my angel.

Mommy and daddy will never forget you and thats a fact.

We will always remember you with every step, every breath.

Maybe i should just have the doctors take it all out.

Away with all the health problems it has caused that are such a pain in the back.

eve was the apple that good?

Mabye we are just meant to adopt.

Thats okay in the end but i just want to feel a baby underneath my skin.

Give us three years though and we are coming to get you.

That is a promise because we need you.

You could never take the place of the one in heave but maybe you could fix our hearts broken pieces.

Please hear me out when i say im fine with adoption but anyone wanting to be a mom has to feel like this sometimes.

To have parts that dont work the way they were intended.

Judge us all you want for the words written.

I dont care what yall say cause me and my husband are wounded.

Angel we love you with all of our heart.

Maybe there is a child out there that needs the same start.

Maybe saving up some money can help us gain a new start.

We needed you.

We need you!