Hello, please help I am desperate and depressed over this

I can’t masturbate and feel pleasure or orgasm...I don’t know what to do.

So I tried stimulating my “g-spot” yesterday (please don’t reply with saying it’s a myth, I’m just saying that as a simple label because I clearly touched something that felt like it and it was exactly as other girls have described it) and I felt the “I’m going to pee!” Sensation, which I had heard was very common, especially for gspot stimulation.

However, I tried to go past that and orgasm but I never did. Instead...I literally urinated. It was urine, not squirt. It was yellow and smelt like pee, and I didn’t even orgasm either. I’ve never had an orgasm.

Not through penetration, not through clitoral stimulation...I’ve tried going at different speeds, pressures, directions, everything. I’ve used lube, no lube. I’ve touched my clit directly, and over the clitoral hood. It does not usually feel good at all.

One of the only times I feel pleasure is this method where I (with no lube, it has to be dry otherwise it doesn’t feel good) I put the pad of my index finger over my clit hood, and quickly swipe (like the motion as if I was turning off a light switch!) and the flick feels good, but if I try to keep doing it, my finger gets tired and my hands cramps so I have to stop and give up.

Also I have this weird method where if I am wearing shorts I lightly scratch over my clit hood through my panties and the fabric of the basketball shorts and it feels very good, but if I keep going the pleasure gets too intense and it feels scary in a way to me. I don’t know how to describe it but I think it’s because I’m afraid of new sensations so since I’ve never had an orgasm or been sexually stimulated (I had never masturbated until a few months ago) I panic because it feels too “intense” it doesn’t hurt at all, I just physically or maybe even mentally can’t keep going, with that method my hands don’t tired but yeah...

I can’t buy toys due to my age so I am miserable and sexually frustrated daily. I am always horny and my genitals swell up and literally hurt because I can’t release and I don’t feel satisfied. The g-spot stimulation was literally my last resort, I thought “well maybe I’m just not a clitoris stimulation girl!” And I decided I wouldn’t feel hopeless like I would never orgasm or feel good sexually and I optimistically decided I should try through the gspot and I was sure I would finally feel pleasure, not too intensely for me to stop but not too dull either, that I would have an orgasm and be satisfied and experience what everyone else has already felt, the “euphoria”. That was my only choice, otherwise I would have to accept that I can never relieve myself, and that sad event just happened.

Am I never going to be able to experience this just because of the way my body is? You know how some girls are just born a certain way, where for example one girl doesn’t really find pleasure in clit stimulation and other girls might not find pleasure through vagina stimulation, and it’s just because of the way their body is hardwired/their anatomy, and it’s just by chance? Well I am the unlucky one because I don’t feel good through either. It’s not fair, please help anyone, how do I orgasm?