This is complicated but if you like a challenge here we go.

Over 2 years ago I got weak after 11 years of being in a pointless marriage. I had been cheated on 5 times, no exaggeration. I was neglected. I was so out of my mind and confused for so long thinking that if I tried harder my husband would love me again, that when some old "friend" came along and gave me some attention I felt like I was literally coming back from the dead. It was like seeing color after years of living in black and white. So when my spouse was out the "friend" came to my house and it got hot fast. So fast that there same a point where it became obvious that I was no longer making the decisions. I didn't fight back. I knew I couldn't and I hadn't had sex in months anyway, so I let it happen 3 times. I never told him no. I felt bad for him because he was depressed too (don't ever be a too-nice girl, guys). He is also a huge 6'3 man and could pick me up and throw me. No way I was going to win a fight. Anyway I was informed later that that's considered rape. I never did anything about it because I guess internally I still don't consider it his fault since I didn't attempt to fight it. I did feel like I didn't have a choice once it started but I also know there's no way to even prove it wasn't just regret. Despite a few of my friends trying to convince me otherwise.

Anyway, I got devorced a few months after that. It took me a year to see clearly about how absolutely screwed up I was chasing after my husband and how I lost a piece of myself during that affair, but also it opened my idiot eyes to see that I deserved better than to be ignored chronically.

Now, I have a bf of a few months and he's a wonderful man. I truly think he cares a lot for me. He's sweet, gentle, and treats me like I'm worth something. He also helps me out around the house where as everything was on me before. Oh, and did I mention he's amazing at sex? Because you forget what that's like after a while without it.

The catch is he's from a super religious family and he kinda acted like I was gross at first *before we were dating* after I told him I had two sexual partners before. I didn't mention one wasn't necessarily my choice. So I'm a few months into our relationship and haven't told him. It wasn't a big deal until the other night when I picked up my sloppy drunk friend and brought her home. Her bf walked out and she didn't want to be alone. I was just trying to be a good friend.

Well, little did I know she magically turns gay while drunk and spend 2 hours groping me, hanging off me, trying to kiss me, and put her hand up my floor length skirt, and saying out loud shit like "I would go for you if I was gay" over and over. This made me super uncomfortable and upset me for hours after. I had to call her bf and essentially evaluate if he would hurt her and tell him to get over himself because she needed him, then I took her home. I felt bad but I was internally not stable. It made me feel out of control of myself and body and that scared the shit out of me.

The worst part is that my bf was there for most of those 2 hours and was watching. He knew I was uncomfortable, but even though he was within reaching distance of what was going on he did nothing. And I'm upset!! Why wouldn't he at least pull her back off of me nicely? Idk if it was because she is female and he is from a traditional family and didn't want to hurt/touch her. Idk if he maybe thought it was hot but he doesn't seem like that type of douche and it wasn't exactly sexy. She might have been in booty shorts but I was stiff and visibly and verbally upset. It's not like she would kick his ass or anything. She's 5'1. Why would you do nothing when I'm STRUGGLING to keep her hands off me and hurting herself or my cats. Yeah she picked up my most aggressive cat and bit it's ear btw. Not hard but hard enough the cat would try to bite her face. Which I was too exhausted to do anything about but my bf steps in to stop her from losing her nose. Sure, defend her drunk ass!!

So now here we are. Its been 2 days and I'm at home alone. He's visiting his little sister for her concert or something for a couple days.

Idk how to tackle this. He's never upset me before like this even before we were dating and I've known him for like 6 years. Whats the best way to tell your new bf "hey I was raped/had an affair a couple years back. I would appreciate if you defended me from people trying to molest me, drunk or not btw"

I'm not saying I'm incapable of defending myself here but some back up from the person who loves you sounds reasonable.