Just needing to vent about kids and my fiancé and life. Sorry so long!

My fiancé and I have been together for almost 6 years and have lived together for the past 5. We built a place together last year. I have a child from previous marriage as does he.

We haven’t all been together as a family in over a month (he’s been gone for work), and he came home Friday night. I made a good dinner and had the place decorated for Halloween and super clean. I was so excited!! The kids were excited to see each other and I was happy he was home.

Things took a turn for the worse when the kids started fighting. It’s expected I know. Girl and boy, ages 8 and 11. When my daughter is upset or hurt or angry, she will let you know! Now I know they both torment each other, however, his son does so in more of a secretive discreet way, where we think it’s mainly my daughter causing the drama..My fiancé doesn’t understand this and it bothers me so badly. I spanked my daughter because she just wouldn’t stop acting up, and he tells me she acts the way she does because I don’t discipline her and spank her when she needs it. I get frustrated at this point and start yelling and crying. Nobody is fighting, I’m just upset and frustrated because I planned to have a good weekend with our kids, carving pumpkins and celebrating for Halloween and it just got ruined.

My fiancé tried to kick us out of my own home saying “I wanna have a good weekend with my son and y’all aren’t ruining it and he doesn’t need to be around this. I don’t care where you go, you’re not staying here. Sleep in the car for all I care, were done”. We ended up sleeping on the couch. I didn’t go anywhere because hats my home too, but for him to say that really hurt me.

I’m not looking for someone to talk down or be condescending or tell me I’m abusive for spanking daughter. I understand my fiancé’s frustration since he hasn’t been home in a while. I wouldn’t wanna come home to that either. But, it’s not like he tried to help the situation. We’re not gonna be perfect all the time and it’s like, I don’t know what to do..I’m heartbroken and disgusted with him and myself and with the kids..I just needed to vent. ☹️

Edit: sorry I want to remain anonymous because I’m sensitive about things I post online. Our relationship has been wonderful. We have our problems but this weekend really rubbed me the wrong way. Enough to question the relationship all together. It’s always him and his son against my daughter and I and it shouldn’t be that way. I love his son just as much as I love my daughter and he feels the same towards my daughter and I see it, but there are issues in that area. We are both selfish and need to work on things but he and his son have this “were entitled” attitude and I’m not like that. I know how my daughter is, and I know she isn’t perfect, but neither is his son. They both do the same things in their own way!