the medicine is supposed to make me feel better... thats the whole point of antidepressants, right? i guess during the day when im fine, its worth it. but when i get home, i cry. i cry and i dont know why. i just feel as if im being ripped apart.

my boyfriend might leave me soon because ive been ‘off’ lately. he left me before for my best friend, but things got better, and we started working better together. but i recently started taking medicine because i was having 2 panic attacks a day, and i could never go anywhere.

now, i feel great during the day, but at night... i feel like things would be better if i died. maybe id be happy again. my panic attack disorder could be gone, i could smile and really mean it. i wouldnt freak out when my boyfriend wanted to touch me. but no one understands. they think that since they had a five minute panic attack four years ago that they can help me through my two hour attacks twice a day. they dont fucking understand and i just want for it all to stop.