A bit broken

I want to “talk” about this but I’m not ready to talk to anyone I know in person since it’s so fresh.

I know I’ll have a ton of people bashing me saying I shouldn’t have, but I looked at his phone this morning. It was lying there and I have a bit of trust issues- not in him at all but because my ex husband cheated our entire marriage and was constantly talking to women and such. I checked and the conversation that pops up is between him and another lady and he’s talking about how he wants to eat her pussy, how he kind of has a girlfriend (we’ve been together 2 years) but it’s not as bad as her having a husband. It was a lot of talk and apparently pictures and videos were sent on Snapchat before the text conversation. She also said think of me when you’re with your girl and he said I did. I’m just broken. To have my marriage end the way it did and I came out on the other side so much better and then this happened. I woke him up and told him to have fun with Candy and he was a bit loopy since he hadn’t had much sleep and likely had a couple drinks (he works night shift so he goes to bed late on his off days) He just got up and started packing his stuff and really didn’t say much. He said she lived in California and we live in Georgia so it’s a safe bet this was only talk and more emotional stuff. But he didn’t seem to care too much. On the way out he told me he’d always love me. The hardest part is I have my annual with the gynecologist today and was going to have them take my IUD out and just see if it happens since it took me a long time to get my twins.

I know I’ll come out of this stronger but it hurts just the same. Thank you for listening.