In the last 3 years my boyfriend has lost 4 people who are close to him to death .

And out of those 4 , 2 of them in the last month . He is now determined to wait to be there for his grandmothers last breath (she’s declining now ). This wouldn’t be a problems he didn’t move to this country last October , just have gotten settled in a new country and just start school this September . She wants to go home to be buried by her husband.

My boyfriend is the sweetest , honest most family oriented person on this planet.

He even puts me up there with his family, saying we’re his priority.

For the last month he has been slipping deeper and deeper into depression.

He only tells me how he feels , and that’s when he picks the phone up once a week to give updates.

He says he hasn’t been talking to anyone and his parents think he needs a therapist .

He lashed out on them when they suggested it.

He over exerted himself in the gym and is not going to physical therapy for a bad injury. To make things worse the side effects of the medication they give him for his arm are insomnia , bad anxiety and shortness of breath. (I’m assuming due to the lack of modern medicine where he’s from he doesn’t have a tolerance)

Friday he had a break down , said he’s going with his grandma back to their country to wait for her to die .

He also said we should break up because he’s leaving and Doesn’t know when or if he’s coming back .(I’d like to point out that his grandma just had open heart surgery so she’s not even stable enough to fly and that his ENTIRE family is in the U.S.A right now .)

He’s lost a lot of weight , has low motivation to do anything but what he said he will , is not physically doing well is irritable and negative.

I know this isn’t him , it’s the depression and you might say leave him but I’m not gonna do that because I’m the only person he’ll talk to . Even if we’re just friends I don’t care, I care more about his health than a title .

This post is asking how to help him . And how to help myself.

Everyday I just cry because nothing was wrong with our relationship, it’s just life itself . Idk how long this will go on , I’ll wait but ... I just know if we separate and have zero contact I’ll go into depression myself.

I wish I could be one of those girls who act like they don’t care , or just stop caring and move on but I’m not . If he was any of my other friends I’d be the same way about this.

I won’t insert what’s happening in my life too , but just know this is just the top of the iceberg.

My boyfriends current state isn’t the sole reason for how I’m feeling , it’s just one piece. It used to be the only solid piece that brought me joy. He still does bring me joy , we just don’t talk as much and I haven’t seen him in a month .

How do I get through this rough patch ?

Will I ever be happy again ? And why does it feel like I’m only allowed to be happy , content and safe 2 months out of the year ??

I swear I’m a good person and my boyfriend is the best person and has even made me better .

I don’t feel like we deserve this , nobody does .

I feel like things have been this way since I came out of the womb . And yes I know nobody is happy 24/7 or nothing is great 24/7 but it looks like it’s so easy for everyone else .

I’m 20 and it’s my birthday month and I’m supposed to be thriving . Instead my boyfriend is depressed, my mom is getting sicker and my life is on hold because I can’t afford school this semester.

And to my religious people , yes I have prayed . I feel like right now god is the only person who knows how it felt to be together and who knows what it feels like right now.

I feel like he’s the only one who’s seen my entire life up to know to know that this relationship was the only solitary thing I’ve had .

I pray, I cry , I try to go out in public , I come back I cry again because life is just kicking my ass right now.

Like come on guys everything is going great for 6 months and the weekend he asked to meet my parents his Bestfriend dies and sends him spiraling!??

Limbo . I’m in limbo .

I even used to think god was punishing me for having dating a Muslim but Ik that’s not the case because only a god could’ve sent my boyfriend.

Plus I know that people have split religion relationships all the time so it’s just us .