My relationship with my best friend is the most toxic relationship I have...

My best friend and I have been best friends for over 17 years. I met her in Kindergarten we were in the same class. She’s funny, sweet, and really just a good person in general. We all have our flaws. I do and so does she. Ever since we were young she has never had a problem with rubbing my face into things that she thought she was better than me. No matter what it was I most of the time wouldn’t care but with her dramatic caring she’d make me so angry but for years I kept quiet because she was my only friend and only person who would stop other kids from bullying me but at the same time she was kinda bullying me. (I have cerebral palsy) in the second grade I won 2nd in a beauty pageant and she didn’t place. Her parents carried on about how much I only got it out of pity and didn’t deserve it. I started pulling her hair in the third grade I started pulling her ponytail to let off steam she’d get me so mad sometimes. I couldn’t really express my feelings then I didn’t know how except getting for physical with her because she always tunes me out. She eventually told the teacher and I just started crying because I felt like a monster for doing it I apologized and begged forgiveness. She still makes me feel 2 inches tall for that and it’s been over 13 years. I lied to her in fourth grade about something neither of us remember and we stopped being friends for 4 years and everyday at school she told me how much she hated me. I’d come home crying she was so harsh. but in high school we made up I thought maybe she changed by our senior year I realized that wasn’t the case and tried to ruin my cousin’s relationship. My cousin she didn’t even know. The rest of our high school experience was us not speaking because the drama meant more to her. We made up once again a few months later after graduating and the summer went by before we did she picked up my shattered heart after my uncle passed away and tried to put it back together. And then when I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years the same one that she told me when we first got together she didn’t know why they didn’t work out together. We hung out constantly after that. She helped me through a lot and then it was my turn when her now ex fiancé turned to heroine. I helped her leave him. We got one drunk one night and she randomly started screaming at me saying “I only became your friend because your special needs and no one else would!” She always had told me it was because she thought I was sweet. And her big saying is “a drunk mans truth is a sober mans lie. A few months later she got pregnant and didn’t know who the father was we were going to raise him together. That changed when we figured out who the father was. I still checked on her all the time even after I started dating someone new. Four months later I find out I’m pregnant and she was so upset. She didn’t want to share the spotlight with me but with her other pregnant bestie she didn’t mind. She was even picked to be in the delivery over me. My best friend did at least show up to my baby shower and told a sappy story of us that made me cry as my family was trying to hide their eye rolls. She came to visit after I had my baby boy and had to cuss out the pharmacy to give me my medicine to recover from giving birth. Fast forward 6 months and my now husband and I settling in and just got the hang of new parenting bent over backwards to get my little nephew a gift and attended his party where she basically ignored me. She didn’t come to my wedding where she was supposed to be a bridesmaid. I didn’t go to hers. I was lucky I was invited. I invited her and her family to my son’s birthday party this past weekend she said she had to work at 3 and said she was really happy it was at 11 so they could make it. She didn’t show up. I later find out that she was off and taking the “most perfect” family photos. This is 100% percent the most toxic relationship I’ve had in my life that I can’t break away from because no matter what she does I love her so much and no matter what she does to me no matter how much it hurts she’s like the sister I’ve never had. I don’t know what to do. 😢

*UPDATE*

Thank you so much for your feedback I usually don’t get it I understand that I need to just let her go but I truly don’t know how. I’m looking for advice on how to let go to the point I won’t unblock her in a few months.

*LAST AND FINAL UPDATE*

I finally did it I blocked all contact from her I will take it day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. I decided a long time ago that my only friends were my husband and my son. This was just a last given chance that she ignored for the millionth time. I know my self worth and I don’t deserve to be her second choice friend that always put first. She doesn’t deserve anymore gratitude from me. I knew all of this I just needed some support and reassurance I’m doing what’s best. Thanks to my husband and you lovely ladies I found my nerve thank you again’