Do you have sex with your spouse even when you don’t want to?

Question

My fiancé and I are getting married in 3 months. I recently told him NO one night for sex because I didn’t feel like I would be at my best and I was extremely exhausted! Before he was extra sweet and loving and after I told him no he totally turned his back on me and wouldn’t touch me for the rest of the night and it truly bothers me and to be honest it hurt my feelings for him to do that. I asked him why he acted this way because I was too tired and wanted sleep and he ignored me and so I went to sleep and woke to him still being a dick and when I got to work today. I started my period. So I’m sure that’s why I was feeling fatigued. So I told him I started and his response was “you sucking dick tonight” and NEVER acknowledged how I felt last night saying he’s over it and how as his soon to be wife and I acting like this?! Am I wrong for saying no last night? Or having feelings about it.

Accepted Answer

Dont marry this piece of shit.

Answer

This is a RED FLAG.  dont get married to someone who is not respectong your feelings.

Answer

No you're not wrong. He doesn't have to be childish about it. 🙄 You don't have to do what you don't want to. 
I have sex a lot when I don't feel like it though, that's the low libido life I guess. If I didn't do that I probably wouldn't have had sex with my boyfriend at all for the past year 😂 once we start I usually like it but getting there can be rough

Answer

He isn't entitled to anything. His attitude is fucking disgusting 🤢

Answer

Red flag. My ex husband demanded I have sex with him whenever he wanted even if I was having kidney stones or the flu throwing up. I was there for his pleasure and did nothing for me. 
If I said no he would yell at me. Please don’t marry him. He’s not mature enough to see that you can say no. 
My husband now and I have no issues over sex. We never tell each other no. We just can tell if the other is or isn’t able.

Answer

Oh wow how old is he? This is very immature of him. 
Is like a toddler throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way 🙄
Are you sure he is ready for marriage?

Answer

SOMETIMES I have sex when I'm not really into it because I dont mind at the time. However if I really dont want to have sex (like in your case when I'm super tired), a no is a no. That has to be respected. It's ok to feel disappointed or sexually frustrated, but it's not ok to take it out on your partner or blame them or any of that. That's not ok. That's not your wifely duty. It is ok to say no to sex and it is supposed to be your partners responsibility to respect your right of consent.

Answer

You’re never wrong for saying no. This is a huge red flag. I dated a toxic person like this before. The one time I told him no, he accused me of cheating, so I had sex with him every time he asked, no matter if I wanted to or not, just to save an argument. No one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to.

Answer

Definitely not wrong! My husband never changes the way he acts towards me if I say no. But I do acknowledge sometimes it’s been a long time (recently had a baby and he was deployed) that even though I wasn’t really in the mood I still had sex with him because I wanted to give him a release and be intimate with him. If I said no he would have been okay with it too! 
So yes definitely a red flag that he’s treating you that way.

Answer

Red flag! Super disrespectful and mature. For example if I tell my husband I’m not feeling like it, he respects that, will cuddle me. Sometimes we play a little but it doesn’t have to be all about sex. “You sucking dick tonight” is not flirtatious or “sexy talk” he is being degrading and immature. Hopefully he can figure out how to suck himself off! I would take a few steps back and analyze if this man respects you in other situations. I hate all the pats I read about the shot marriages women are in and all the crap they put up with! Yes, marriage can be hard at times, and it involves compromise. But it should also involve true respect and a partnership! Only you know if it really does on a regular basis. If it doesn’t don’t ignore the red flags and then be on here posting about how you’re “trapped” in a few years! You should be treated amazing, and want to treat your PARTNER amazing! That’s the standard. And if it’s not, bail out and do not get married! It’s okay to be alone!

Do you have sex with your spouse even when you don’t want to?

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