Vaping...

I just found out that my husband has started vaping. Not only did he not tell me, but he has been lying to me about it AND using it in the house 😠 we live in a small 3 bedroom and he's been using it right next to the baby's room!! 😡🤬

The only reason I even know he has the thing is because he fell asleep watching TV before he had a chance to hide it back in his work coat. Damn thing was in his hand and he had the audacity to say it wasn't his. At 2 in the morning. Mhm. Sure. Because everyone just falls asleep with someone else's vape I'm their hands.

He's been complaining about a cough and refusing to take any kind of cough medicine. Mood swings like no other. Going to the bathroom for 30 minutes at a time and locking the door(bedroom and bathroom)- sometimes once every hour.

Before I fell asleep tonight he came into the room saying he needed his charger- which I thought was weird because he always has one in the livingroom-, and he never has it in his drawer (which is where he was digging around) but I was so tired I didn't ask or think about it too much. Well... Now I know what he was looking for. Explains why he put it in his pocket and practically ran out the door.

He's not even going to remember that I saw it later today because when he's tired he forgets everything that's happening around him.... And when he's not tired too(especially anything that he agreed to do with me/my family.... But thats a different issue)

I'm not sure how to broach the subject when he wakes up. I hate smoking of all kinds and I WILL NOT tolerate him doing it in the house- which I already know if going to cause an argument. I also don't think his family knows he's doing it because when we were at their house a few days ago him and his grandfather were both talking about how stupid smokers/vapers were 🙄 and he is ALWAYS ragging on my friends who smoke or vape too.

I thought he was just having a hard time at work(1st winter as a pump truck driver) and then coming home to the baby and stuff- he gets grumpy after a long day and right around 7pm is when the baby starts to get cranky so they just upset each other more and more- but now I'm thinking it's more that he's waiting for the baby to sleep so that I'll go to bed & he can vape for as long as he wants without interruption.

He normally tells me everything....I love him- but this is way too much to handle right now. 😭

EDIT: I'm sorry is this seems over dramatized- I was completely exhausted and heart broken when I saw it.

We both work all day long and after work I take care of our son: all night and on all of our days off I am the sole care taker because he just wants to relax on his days off and when he gets home- and I have been fine with that because he usually works more hours than me. On the rare occasion that he does hold our boy he usually ends up practically throwing him back into my lap because the crying has started and 'Shut-up there's nothing to cry about' has not miraculous worked.

I'm OK with it being a stress reliever- I have quite a few family members and friends that smoke to relieve stress- but if he has just told me he was stressing I would have helped him. I would rather he have a safer and healthier way of dealing with his stress- and I've looked up all of the possible effects of vaping and none of them seem worth it to me. Especially the ones concerning my baby.

He has VERY vocally straight-up refused to have some of our family members in our house and around our hold if they smoke or vape- all recently as I'm only 11weeks pp- and it definitely ruffled feathers for all family members involved. He calls all of my friends that vape names and has even chastised his Uncle for smoking around his cousins. Which is why I don't understand this behavior.

And finally- I am always the one compromising. And I'm getting really tired if getting yelled at by him and others for not wanting to. I wanted to be able to bring my animals (that I had BEFORE we met) with us when we moved- couldn't find a place we could afford that allowed it so they stayed at my mom's, husband thinks that's awesome because he's not a huge fan of animals. Now that we are 6 months into the lease the landlord said he would consider up to 2 cats- my husband ONLY wants to bring 1 of them and she is very attached to my other cat- so they stay at my moms. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was physically and verbally abusive to my mom and verbally abusive to my sister and I so I hate drinking- but he wants to do it so I ignore the beer that disappears oh so quickly from my fridge. And I ignore his bad breath and his quick temper because 'it helps him relax and fall asleep'. This is just one more thing that I don't want- in my house or around our son- and yet as the wife it seems my main wifely duty is to compromise. To ignore it. To let him do what he wants.

RANT OVER

When hlmy huaband wakes up(around noon) I have a bunch of information that I found about the side effects of vaping on all of us. I will wait until his is fully awake and then just.... Ask why? When? Where? Why didn't you tell me? .... Hopefully it all goes smoothly and we can get this resolved- and at least have him take it outside when he wants to use it.