Scared of not loving my baby...?

Question

Its a planned pregnancy and I love children. Im the oldest of six kiddos with the littlest being nine. Im just so worried about not feeling this whole special mom connection with my son that everyone talks about. Like I dont want to feel like hes just another baby you know? Plus Im probably going to need a scheduled c section because i have heart problems and have high risk of aortic dissection (already dialated with beta blockers during pregnancy) which was not my plan at all. Iv just been so miserable and sick this whole pregnancy and now I dont even get to go through labor how I want too and its so frustrating. I know I will love him but its so hard to imagine that connection right now and it makes me scared.

Answer

This is SOO nornal and sadly not discussed more often. The instant connection or bond we see in movies or expect to happen is actually not as common as we think. I've been speaking to my post partum doula about these same concerns and there are actually statistics that show many women take longer to bond with their newborns than people really realize. You are not crazy for feeling this way, as I too worry about that instant bond. Its SO normal and natural for it to take a bit to create that bond or connection. Like you, this pregnancy was also planned.  But I've never been that woman who rubs her belly and talks to it and is all gushy about it. I've been sort of "removed" in that sense and that's what worries me cause so many women on this app are like "I'm so in love with this little guy" and I'm not there yet. Of course i WILL love him, but for some, that bond doesnt happen until babe is in our arms and we grow together out of the womb. This is something that for many years has seemed "taboo" to talk about, but is actually far more common then most people realize!!!! You are not alone hun!

Answer

I didn’t connect with my daughter until she was a couple months old. It did have to do with me having post partum depression. So even if it doesn’t happen right away, trust me, one day you will be sitting there looking at your child and feel so much love! It’s amazing what you feel

Answer

For some women it takes a bit as their emotions balance out. 
For many though who feel that way it's mostly just hard to imagine because baby isn't here yet....then you hear that beautiful first cry and more love pours out of you than you even knew you had. Then you know you'd kill for this tiny human.

Scared of not loving my baby...?

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