due date

so i got my abortion back in july and trust me i know it was the right decision but my due date is coming up at the end of the month and i’m really starting to struggle with it 😭 i see my friends giving birth or getting their last minute stuff ready and i sit here thinking that should be me. my cousin and i were due 4 days apart and i look at her like i would be that big right now, i would have a name picked out. my boyfriend came into my life about a month after i had the procedure done and he’s been absolutely amazing. he plans on bringing me chocolate and coming to cuddle on my due date. i’m just so not prepared to have a while mental breakdown, like i’m crying writing this. my heart is so broken 😭😭