Post break up depression. I need help

I’ve realized ever since I lost my love, life just isn’t exciting to me anymore. Life with my ex was the most wonderful thing I ever experienced. It was a level of happiness I didn’t know possible. We became long distance & everything changed. We weren’t happy anymore & we broke up about 3 months ago. For the first couple months I was okay. We still talked everyday & I had hope we would reunite. But after a while I just felt it was too hard & I needed to be on my own. I cut off communication with him. I was happy for a little bit. I felt independent & like I was falling back in love with myself & my life. But that joy only lasted so long. And it had no comparison to the joy I felt with him. I honestly don’t even want him back. Things were too hard long distance because we’re both such clingy people. We couldn’t stand being apart & I don’t want to go through it again. But I still miss him all the time. I miss going on dates. I miss having sex & being intimate. I miss cuddling & watching movies. I miss literally every single thing we used to do. I’ll be going about my day then something will remind me of him & it’ll ruin my mood. I’m mopey all the time. I barely eat & when I do it’s crappy food. I put off taking showers for days. I don’t do my makeup & get ready anymore. I never want to go out anymore. I don’t go to church anymore. I sleep in late everyday & stay up late every night. I used to love going to work & now I hate it. I’m just not excited about life. All I want to do is lay in bed all day. I can’t even cry anymore. I just feel empty. I can feel my friends not want to be around me anymore because I’m not fun. I’m always in a bad mood & I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t know what I want & it scares me. I still love my ex but am too scared to try again with him. I’m terrified to move on & try with someone new. I just feel so down.

I don’t want to be like this. Has anyone experienced this before? How do I get out of it? I want to love myself & my life again. I want to learn to be happy on my own & not dependent on my ex for my happiness. Please, I’ll take any advice. I desperately need it. I need to heal but I don’t know how. Thank you for reading :/❤️