Confused

So I have been having a lot of struggles with my Christianity I just feel like I am on a dottted line waiting for something bad to happen and me to be mad at god and the other day my friend of forever told me something her stepdad used to do to her and that just killed me and that was like the last straw of my relationship with god because how can I say god is good and all that stuff when people around me are suffering....sorry just needed to get some things of my chest😬

Any thoughts??