Long, so apologies!

My DH and I started TTC back in January 2015. We decided to take a break and started using condoms and truly just didn't think about it about two years ago. Then, my periods stopped. I went over 18 months without AF, had a laparoscopy to diagnose and treat endometriosis back in October, restarted meds for a micro adenoma / elevated prolactin at that time as well...

AF (the WORST I've ever had 🤣) showed up on December 26 which I was actually very happy to have finally, and so we decided to stop with the condoms and just see what happens. I had spotting around cd 18-20 but it was super light pink/brown cm.

In the past I've never had a truly visible BFP. Not one without squinting or tweaking. I thought I had a chemical a few years ago because of a vfl on a blue dye test but I know those suck.

I'm trying not to lose my mind... I was really thrown when I tested a few days ago and had the first light but visible pink positive (day 27 FMU). I've taken waaaaay too many tests in between and I've had a couple of seemingly very light BFP but more that seemed like BFN until yesterday morning. It was there almost instantly and very pink! I retested after work though last night after an over 2 hour hold and it looked like another BFN, so now I'm kind of at a loss. BFN on First response digital, too.

I had bloodwork done yesterday so I'm waiting until Monday and having a repeat at that time possibly. I've had my heart broken again and again with hpts but I need either a virtual reality check or positive thoughts / reassurance. I'll be okay if it comes back negative, but it's making me regret even deciding to "try" again. I'm tired of buying tests and going insane. I'd be barely 4 weeks so logically I know it's still early. I have 0 patience and I know this, but I know I'm not alone in this! My doctor is amazing so I know he'll give me as much as I need as far as information and help, which is why he ordered the tests immediately.

Any advice, thoughts, or whatever is welcome. I'm trying to relax but it isn't working 😆🤦‍♀️

The tests were so much pinker in person too, so if they look grey, you'll have to trust me on that one.