My son is 17 and plans on marrying his girlfriend at 18. Would I be wrong if I let him know I disapprove?

Question

I just recently found out that my son who turns 18 next month has been secretly engaged to his girlfriend for a couple of months and he hid it from me because he didn't want to "hear my negativity." I can't stop him from getting married. 18 is a grown man/woman. I just personally don't think he's mentally prepared for it considering his girlfriend is very toxic and mean to him.

Answer

Is this the same mom that beat her 17 year old, shamed him on Facebook, then he ran away with an “older” woman and was emancipated?...

Answer

You can give your opinion nicely but then I recommend backing off and being supportive of him and their relationship. Trying to push him away from her and being unsupportive will just push him away from you and drive him closer to her.

Answer

I would give my opinion and offer a compromise. That I don’t think it’s tine and he should wait till he finishes college or turns 21. To give himself and their relationship time to grow. If he waits I will help pay for the wedding. If he doesn’t he can pay it alone as well as all his expenses like living and college because I’m not gonna help support a married man and his wife.

Answer

I think you have a right to your opinion but it may damage your relationship with your son. He already hid his engagement, do you want him to hide his wedding from you too?  This relationship very well may not work out, but it may.... and by pushing them away now, it may set a precedence for the rest of their lives... you may not be welcome to be apart of it. I think it’s best to be supportive while you can also express your concerns. You don’t want him to feel like he can’t come to you if things don’t work out.

Answer

I would talk to him about why he feels the need to do it know, what he thinks it will change about his relationship, what he wants out of it all and life. You can express your concerns but not disapproval per se. Make sure he understands the commitment and that when you’re married you can’t just break up, you have to go through a divorce which is NOT cheap. Talk about how they plan to support themselves.

My son is 17 and plans on marrying his girlfriend at 18. Would I be wrong if I let him know I disapprove?

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