Chaos in my life. Help.

2 weeks ago my brother was hit by a car and put on life support. He was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury. My boyfriend, OIF Veteran who is an alcoholic with PTSD, went off the deep end. He has never met this brother. His issues are completely unrelated and he threatens breaking up our 7 1/2 year relationship and has been drinking more and harder on me mentally. I am currently going through financial issues, family issues and he is adding to the pot and not helping. Is this attention seeking behavior, do my struggles make him feel more helpless or is he just scared that I’m choosing family over him. He tells me his issues are legit and me not being there for him is pushing him away. I really don’t have the mental energy to deal with more at this point and I just want him to be accountable for his behavior and be supportive of me during this hard time. I’ve asked him to see his VA counselor and stop drinking so much but he won’t listen, he takes everything I say as bashing him no matter how nice I say it. I just don’t know what to do, who to focus on or how to even remotely fix this. Please help, any advice?