Tired BFN

I'm so tired and somewhat hurting still of getting the BFN. I've been actively trying since early last year (with a donor, I'm Pansexual). I became pregnant/successful but had a miscarriage in August. My second. I'm a foster mom for high needs kids- mainly teens. I've had 10 (19 if including respite) kids... one with me now still. It gets especially hard when they slip up or purposely call me mom instead of Mama Nas or Anasia. My period started yesterday and I cried at work, trying to be strong at home because of my foster kid. I feel like I can't breathe. I really want my rainbow baby and before 35 next year. I wanna give up. Some words of encouragement would be awesomsauce.

My current donor lives four hours away so it is stressful to say the least.