depression, plz read

hey

i'm 13y/o and i have depression. I've had it since 2018 (i think)...

i didn't think that much about it the first year. But in August/September 2019 i started to think about it more and i was like: "nope this is not normal, something's wrong...i've been feeling down for about a year now and its getting worse & worse."

So i started searching on things like "am i depressed" or "how do you know if you are depressed". & i could relate to all the things that i found on google.

After a while i started to push my friends away...and even my family...i locked myself in my room, was always alone. My mom noticed it & one day we were arguing & she said "seriously, im starting to get worried about you...why do are u never with friends, you used to love being w them and why are you never with me anymore?" & i started to cry & yelled "are you serious, why haven't you asked me earlier? i'm depressed! Haven't you noticed?"

And then we sat down an talked.

*1 month ago*

I was in school and i just couldn't do it anymore, i was so tired of everything.

So i went to my teacher, i was crying a lot. I told her about everything & how i felt. She said that my mom should call a psychologist so i could get help.

I called my mom and told her that she needs to call a psychologist and she said "i did that like 4h ago. We're going on Tuesday. I love you so much❤️"

and now i've been there and im going again in like 3 weeks...

Read:

•Still don't hangout w "friends"

(i had a best friend...or thats what i thought. Let's call her T. So T and i've known each other for 10years. And one day she just left me for the popular girls...i got really sad cuz she was like my sister. But i had many other friends so i wasn't alone. But my mom met a guy & summer 2019 we moved to a house together. Ofc i had to change school...now i have 2 friends in my new school but they are so boring (sorry) and toxic. So tbh i kinda don't have any friends to hangout with.

•I literally don't have any motivation at all

•i feel so lonely/empty

•i can't concentrate in school at all anymore.

•I miss my dad so much he lives in Usa (i live in Europe). I think thats ONE σf тнє вιggєѕт reasons why im feeling things way. (but there r 1000 other reasons).

Thanks for reading❤️🥺