Diagnosed with HSV2

Last night a nightmare because reality. I was told my sores looks like herpes. The doctor spoke as she knew 100 percent what it was before she even swabbed it. I haven’t got any test results back but I’m interesting in knowing which type I have. I repeat in my head all day that I have herpes it’s effecting my focus at work and I feel so dirty and disgusting. This really sucks I’m 22 and feel like I have nothing else to live for. I just can’t be happy I’m hurting and scared for my family around me... like am I allowed to live my life regularly around them or do I have to watch myself as far as hugging and kissing them? I honestly have thought of suicide. How do people cope with this? I just feel so stupid. I can say that my current outbreak hurt but it’s bearable. Did anyone get lucky enough to not have any more outbreaks or am I just wishful thinking? Man my life sucks.