Almost 2 years later... 😪
So this is a complicated situation, and I’m sure I’m going to receive plenty of mixed responses. It’s a long story, so please bare with me.
In August of 2018, my husband had an affair. Like full on physically cheated on me. Unfortunately, it wasn’t with some random woman. It was with the mother of his children. We had only been married for around 6ish months, so we were a pretty newly married couple. I moved to the state he was raised in with him so he could have a relationship with his kids, and there isn’t a single time I have ever regretted that decision, I love his kids like they are my own. But that means I literally have nobody down here. All of my family and friends are states away. Well, we decided we wanted to try to get things back on good standing with the mother of his kids, so we invited her over for a game night. Of course we all had been drinking, and I felt as though the night was going super well! I had had too much to drink, so my husband brought me upstairs and got me a glass of water and tucked me in. I was completely wasted, so the red flags weren’t really showing to me at the time, but my husband told me he wanted to finish his drink with his friend that had also come over for our game night. Because I was wasted, I ended up passing right out. While I was asleep, my husband ended up sleeping with her in my home. They had been having a secret conversation on Facebook messenger while we were all playing cards socializing. A week after this all happened is when I ended up finding out. My husband was asleep on my lap while I was watching TV, and my gut told me to check his phone. Idk what it was, but I picked up his phone and found all the messages. I instantly woke my husband up and confronted him and he out right lied to me about it being physical. He told me it was only talked about, not actually done. And I tried to believe him. I really did. But the day I found out, he left and met up with her. They texted the entire time(I could see from the phone records) and he refused to come home. He lied to me about where he was when he knew I was at home having a complete mental breakdown, but met up with her instead of trying to fix things with me. It came out finally that they actually had sex in my house, while I was sleeping literally right upstairs. Needless to say, that night was the worst night of our marriage. Things were broken and I said things I can never take back. After days of sleeping apart and hardly talking, we finally sat down and he told me everything (that I know of, other little lies have popped up throughout the almost 2 years since) that happened. I decided to try to give him another chance. So here is where my question comes in. Is it normal to still think about it... and have questions...? It’s been 2 years, and I feel like if I bring it up, it’ll cause an argument. But I’m still so hurt from this. This is a woman I have to deal with for the rest of my life you know? How do I move past that? And another part of me feels like a piece of shit of even thinking about this shit still... idk I guess I’m just looking for any insight... please be kind, because I already have so much going on in my mind, I’d rather not be bashed on top of it.
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