I don’t like the newborn stage😥

I think I might be the only person who wants their baby to be bigger, I really hate the newborn stage, the vulnerability and not knowing what’s wrong when she cries...which is endless because she has reflux, I just hate it! I want her to be like 3/6 months now and I just feel like I’m praying away the days till she’s a bit bigger and feel like I’m a bad parent because of it :(