No longer believe in love AND compatibility

12 years of marriage, 3 kids later and I think I just don’t care anymore.

Everyone says you have to work at marriage.

My god. I am tired.

The husband is a nice man. We don’t have problems of cheating. He is incredibly smart. He is caring and generous. He challenges me intellectually and I love it. We hold deep conversations about any and all subjects and for most of them, we have the same outlook, the same values. I LOVE his parents and siblings to death. Seriously, I lucked out- they’re amazing folks and they love me through and through. I can say confidently he would love me to the end of my days, loyally, if I became paralyzed from the neck down. He is the most handsome man I’ve ever met. Even now when I think of him, it’s enough to turn me on.

But .

Heis an alcoholic. I just don’t care to put up with it anymore.

He and I view money so differently. My credit alone has saved our house. Bought us our cars. Paid for our wedding. It was me working overtime for years while he stayed at home that paid for all our bills (he was too depressed to work so I supported him).

He is bad with money.

I am tired.

He is the laziest, laziest person. I do everything. Everything. Cook, clean, organize, laundry, etc. all me. I am the primary caretaker for the kids.

I’m tired. No he will not care to change. he has said he doesn’t care if we never clean the bathroom ever. He’s never helped pick up toys around the house after the kids.

Sex has been blah for years. He has problems staying hard. No it wasn’t like that in the beginning. Yes he is depressed. No he refuses to see a doctor. Instead he drinks himself into a drunken stupor.

I am tired.

I no longer believe in compatibility and love together. It’s one or the other. And then the cliche but very true story of “marriage isn’t perfect, you’ve gotta work hard for it”.

Ya know, I just don’t care anymore.

I am just ready to be alone for the rest of my life. I would rather be alone than work to make this marriage work. Anyone else gotten to this point? I’m ready to just be done with it.