I’m over it.

My boyfriend has pushed me over the edge.

He’s always been selfish. I feel like it’s always me doing laundry, always me cooking, always me cleaning, always me, and he goes and does whatever he wants. He’s started smoking wax again after he quit after he was arrested for having wax on him, which I stuck by him through, he started smoking again as soon as I moved to another state with him, probably because he knows I’m stuck with him and have to deal with it. He’s left me home when I’ve been sick and needed him here so he can go get high with friends. For the past few days my neck has been so stiff I can’t get comfortable and I almost started crying because of how horrible it felt. I’ve asked multiple times to run my neck, he says he’s “too tired” and doesn’t do it. So just now when I said “this hurts too much, I can’t handle it.”

he went “oh my god” under his breath, like he was annoyed?? I immediately got pissed off, got dressed and left the room. Now I’m sitting out in the living room thinking about all the selfish things he’s ever done, and thinking about, how horrible he will continue to treat me my entire life. I’m beyond tired and over being treated like a slave and letting him walk all over me. I can’t believe I actually wanted to try to conceive with him. He just sits on his phone all fucking day and night. He doesn’t do a god damn thing to try to make me happy. He controls both of our money, he controls everything I fucking do, he controls everything about my entire life. IM OVER IT.