Venting

He makes me sooo happy and yet sooo sad. I’m trying to hold on to the fact that he keeps saying how much he cares but I can’t hold on much longer. I feel like I’m fed bs. I’m questioning a lot in this so called relationship and can’t say anything bc I want him in my life, I don’t wanna be how I was before him, and his game is more important than a decent human connection now. Had I know this is how things would be, I would’ve stayed where I was, unattached. Now I’m attached and it sucks. I don’t even write paragraphs to him anymore bc I don’t see the purpose, it’s gonna flip back to me and not get solved. Plus he probably doesn’t even care. I’m trying not to be as heartless but he’s making it difficult and I’m soo tired of crying before sleeping.