A Bittersweet Birthday

I’m turning 40 next week. On my birthday last year, I began miscarrying our second loss in a row, but this year on my birthday I’ll be almost 24 weeks pregnant with our beautiful rainbow baby. When my husband asked what I wanted for my big birthday, I told him that all I wanted was this ring. We could celebrate with big cocktail energy and lots of friends next year on my 41st. The ring arrived today and it’s perfect. It’s a broken circle anchored by two birthstones: one for our first loss and the second, a tiny diamond - my birthstone - representing the baby we lost on my birthday last year. I chose the birthstones to represent the end of the time we had with them and not their anticipated birthdays, which would never be. I had wanted to share this beautiful gift and the story of our two lost babies on social media, but I’m worried that this is not the right time. People are already dealing with so much pain and loss right now, but I hope this is a safe space to share. I couldn’t be happier that now I will have all of my babies with me - my 2 year old son, our future daughter, and this memorial ring, which I wear on my right pointer finger and forever keep close to my heart.