Am I wrong?

Question

When my fiance and I first got together I was a major stoner. I would smoke all day every day as a way to self medicate and deal with my PTSD and anxiety. 
He knew and he hated everything about it but regardless we stayed together. Eventually we split, I was pregnant and we got back together a year later. When I became pregnant I stopped smoking.
3 years later I've had another baby, we are engaged and ive been having a really difficult time with my PTSD and anxiety since giving birth to our last son about 4 months ago.
We came to a compromise that I could smoke every other weekend. But I just dont feel it's enough. If I was on medication for my PTSD it's something I would take every day, not just a couple days every other week. My fiance is totally against me smoking any more and was so hesitant about it from the get go. 
I dont want to come off as ungrateful or unappreciative or like I'm taking advantage of the situation but he gets upset and angry if I ever ask to smoke on the days we didnt agree to. 
I like to smoke because it relaxes me and allows me to actually sleep at night. Being a mom to two is stressful and overwhelming by myself as hes generally away for work a majority of the time. 
I only smoke when hes home and able to help me with the kids. I'm anticipating getting my medical card once the virus situation calms down. 
Am I wrong? Anyone have any helpful words of advice?

Answer

I’m sorry you guys are in a tough situation. Just as much as he is responsible for making that  choice to be with you knowing you smoke, you are just as much responsible for being with him knowing he didn’t like it and knew deep down he would never accept you smoking everyday. 
So where do you guys go from here? 
If you want the relationship to work, the obvious answer is compromise. 
If not, then it’s best not to drag this on and on because this issue will never go away. You guys aren’t as happy as you both want to be. 
By compromise- I mean you would have to address your mental and health issues in a more acceptable manner for him: through seeing a doctor and being prescribed medication. 
Because as you say- you’re using as a means to cope so you have to try other methods (again) to meet your partner halfway.

Answer

You are not wrong. You should be able to smoke when the kids go to bed to help with your anxiety and PTSD. I think weed is a great thing for people with anxiety and such. I personally don’t like it but it has gotten my brother through the pain of chemo.

Answer

I would rather my SO smoke than take pills which can become very addictive.

Answer

Talk to a doctor. Don’t self medicate. 🙄

Answer

I know I wouldn’t be letting my husband deem what I can and cannot do to help my PTSD and anxiety. I have SEVERE PTSD from a 4 year long physically abusive relationship where I could have been killed, and being raped. I smoke weed for my depression, anxiety, bipolar, and PTSD. My husband has ALWAYS supported me through my mental health journey. For fucks same HE GROWS FOR ME to make sure I ALWAYS have the amount I need to help my issues. And he KNOWS I’m going to do what I have to do to keep my mental health in check, whether he likes it or not. He would never give me a stipulation for treating my mental health. That’s just gross. Our mental health as a whole is more important than stupid stipulations. You are a grown up. You can make choices and decisions about your body and mental health. If he doesn’t like it, he has the choice to leave. He knew you smoked before he entered the relationship. If it was that big of a deal, he would have never dated you to being with. I would be telling him you’re gonna smoke, and if he doesn’t like it he can hit the road.

Answer

Tbh you have to make the choice to be with him or to take care of your mental health because the two of those things aren’t mixing. I would choose my mental health because there are other people who won’t care and specially who won’t continuously get with you just to change you

Answer

I don’t think your wrong however if it it’s causing that many issues in your relationship and you really want it to work I think I would look into some alternatives. Maybe just try CBD, it helps tremendously with my anxiety.

Answer

Weed is literally a drug for anxiety (yes it can give it to you too) but would he feel the same if you took meds?

Answer

I would say fuck it and do what makes you feel better. No one has a right to control anything that is GOOD for you. He should understand that and want whats best for you, how selfish of him. I would also advice him to maybe educate himself more on the subject because people don’t really know how amazing Cannabis is they just have opinions of it rather than facts.

Answer

You would be wrong if you went behind his back and started smoking more than YOU agreed to. Because remember you agreed to the every other weekend thing, if it’s for medical purpose then I don’t see why if you stated allows it you haven’t gotten a card yet, coronavirus aside. Otherwise I would talk to him and explain why you need it and in what ways it helps you. Tell him how you feel when you don’t smoke it. Also make sure it’s not an addiction.

Am I wrong?

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