idk how to love ?

i grew up with my parents rarely showing physical and verbal affection . we never would randomly say we love each other or anything, only if there was a reason to you know . we all know that we love each other so much but just never show it . The thought of me randomly getting up and hugging my mom & saying i love you right at this very moment weirds me out and if i did it i’d probably cry. I’d have to build up courage to do that. So now as i’m older i find it hard to express my emotions, i don’t really know how to explain it , but like i can love someone so much , do anything for them , but i just can’t show it . i don’t know how too . it would feel so awk for me . i’ll come off as heartless but deep down i care . Idk of other people experience this feeling but if you do lmk . i want to know if there’s like a specific name for this feeling or something you call this feeling bc idk .

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