I lost my daughter and granddaughter

My family was broken due to a drunken meth addicted partner. I lost them through CPS because of a mental breakdown and old warrant. I tried fighting for my children when I got released from jail but I didn't have the right representation! Years later, my daughter chose a life of drugs, alcohol and street living over sobriety. She hid her pregnancy throughout the whole 9 months and yes...my granddaughter was underweight and tested positive for illegal drugs. My daughter signed her rights away and doesn't want anyone to get the baby! It's sad that I'm the only one who held my grandbaby for 48hrs. Now It's going on a month and I've been depressed confused, court says came and went, etc. Its a mess! I need therapy.