Frustrated

I eat clean. I try to reach at least 1900cal every day. I do light exercises for 20 mins a day. I track my fats, protein, carbs, and calories.

I haven't started lifting weights just because the pure lack of motivation. You would think hating my body would be enough, but no. When I first started this over two weeks ago (with maybe 3 cheat days) I weighed 118.0lbs. I'm 5'7 and that is on the lower end of the scale for my height. I wanted to change it, I wanted to at least weigh 130. I step on the scale once a week, and I am steadily losing weight.. I now weight 115.6 and I'm kind of scared. My lowest weight was 113.5 about 4 years ago. I was going through a really bad time.

I don't know why I'm losing weight and I'm scared to lose more. I'm not anorexic or anything. I eat a healthy amount of clean foods. I'm 21 years old and I just don't want to look like a stick. I do have a pudgy tummy and a muffin top I'd like to get rid of, but if that means I'm going to end up more underweight than I am already I don't know if it's worth it.

Every macro calculator I use tells me the same thing, which is always right around the amount of calories I eat now. I don't understand. Before I decided to get healthy I ate unhealthy foods and definitely not near 1900 calories, but yet I stayed the same weight for years.

Just venting so if you dont have anything nice and/or helpful to say move along

EDIT: also I really don't know how I managed to lose weight when before this I was eating less and unhealthy and maintained my weight. Can someone explain this