Should I leave or stay?
I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 29
His father passed away 2 years ago and since then he’s a little disturbed handling his fathers business and everything he keeps occupied but yet makes time
Ever since his father passed away he feels like he’s the man of the house which he is because he’s the only man in the house w two other ladies (sis & mom)
His drinking habits have gone worse since then
He drinks then calls me up and gets angry on anything then yells
We’re together since 6 years now
So I made a few set of rules for each other more like boundaries
1. Drinking only twice a week, not getting very drunk tho
2.No smoking weed more than 3 days a week
3. Not to get irritated, yell or raise volume, if there’s any problem we’ll solve it
4. Only one person speaks at a time, no cutting each other in between and talking, let one complete what’s in their mind then other talks so that both knows what’s on each other’s mind
And more like it’s something that I get irritated by whenever someone cuts me and talks
So when it happens not once but a few times even after letting the other person know I’m getting irritated and they don’t stop I loose it and get angry and yell and even abuse
His only complain is that I abuse
But isn’t that started because of you?
I’m not very well to do and he is
He works and earns
Whatever I have I try putting all in getting him gifts make him feel important
Everything I could think for him to get happy
Obviously I expect the same , not gifts but mental gestures or letting me know if I k important or not
A few weeks ago I asked him to get me a gift
His answer was I am broke
His salary was supposed to come and told him in gum why don’t you surprise me with a lingerie of your choice
He agreed
Then said I’m broke, I let it go got irritated but left it
The same day I saw him getting cans of beers and stash full of alcohol
I felt like asking him so I taunted him
He laughed and ignored
I also ignored
I meet him once a week (every Friday) because of the pandemic
So every Friday he insist to open a bottle of wine and finish it like both of us and have sex
When he’s not drunk he can’t have sex
I confronted he declined said its app in my mind
Since 3 days in a row he’s drunk calling me, takes a different meaning of my words, yells and tells me to fuck off
It’s increasing now
He was like it’s before too but now it’s more
We have had fights I’ve cried told him to look at me love me
He constantly tells me he loves me then drunk calls me insults me, my trust is totally gone and I have told him that
He asks for a chance then again breaks my trust
And when I mention the rules I made, he says what do care
I just feel super lonely
6 years and I love him but I kills me when it hurts me, I don’t have much friends hardly 2-3
But I don’t share my personal life
I suffer with severe anxiety and depression
Because I can’t afford a doctor I asked for his help and he agreed but that never happened
I can’t breath when I cry and I get depressed for days
I know it’s toxic and I should leave
But he’s helped me so many times, supported my family for a little rent and few more things
I want someone who doesn’t know me to give me an suggestion for this, so that I can think and make a decision properly, and have never spoken to anybody about it so I think this place makes me feel safe to be unknown and say what I feel
I have always been a disturbed girl since a child because my parents fought a lot and abused each other, I never wanted that for myself, my destiny maybe wants something else
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.