Is it ever okay to get angry at your partner for them not wanting to have sex?

Question

I have a very low sex drive and I also suffered sexual abuse as a child and I was raped as an adult. I started birth control that seemed to lower it more, and I recently started an antidepressant that seems to make it even lower. I only have sex with my boyfriend maybe once every few weeks. I also caught him being unfaithful (he had made a tinder). All of these things combined I never want to have sex, and he frequently gets very frustrated with me. I understand sexual frustration, but he acts as if it’s my fault. Last night he got mad and then he gave me the silent treatment the whole night. Does he partly have a right to be angry or should he try to express his frustration in a different way?

Answer

I don't think that he has the right to be angry at all. He only has the right to understand and try to be supportive...or the right not to be. 
I would understand more if he came to you and explained that he can't stay in the relationship due to lack of sex. Nothing wrong with that. But to be sneaky, upset and childish is extremely wrong and concerning. 
If I were you, I'd let him read all the responses from women you're about to get in this post...and then leave him. Your partner should support and understand or get lost.

Answer

I’m going to be real with you.. flip it and think about how you’d feel if your partner never wanted sex with you, regardless if it’s his fault or not. Yes, it’s normal that he’s frustrated. Intimacy is extremely important and the fact that he made a tinder doesn’t look good.. the relationship might as well end right now because he’s already looking for sex elsewhere. he probably feels super rejected by you and now he’s lashing out. I’m NOT saying what he’s doing is right, it’s not! but i understand why he’s upset. Some people are able to be really supportive and patient in these situations and unfortunately some people can’t handle it and they stray or end the relationship. I know it’s not your fault but you are in a relationship and your partner wants  to be intimate with you. You should see your doc and also look into therapy.

Answer

He has a right to be upset about it. Once every few weeks is basically nothing. But I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who cheated on me either

Answer

So, I don’t think it’s fair to say that it’s wrong to be angry. His feelings are valid. Just like yours are. He should be working on trying to express his feeling in a more constructive way and work on solutions together. 
Sex is an important part of a relationship. Sex is also about intimacy and if it’s lacking, it’s a problem. Lack of intimacy is the top reason for infidelity, that’s just a statical fact. It doesn’t mean it’s right, but that’s a fact. 
You BOTH need to work on intimacy and making it a priority, so BOTH needs are fulfilled.

Answer

I don’t think it’s okay. 
By saying it’s okay, you’re basically telling her to have sex with him even if she doesn’t want to just do he won’t be angry. That’s not okay.

Answer

Angry, no. Frustrated, yes, I can say from experience that being with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you often sucks ass and makes you feel ugly, undesirable, unwanted, etc plus your needs aren’t being met. I have definitely been frustrated with an ex for not wanting to have sex however I wouldn’t say we fought about it or anything like that. It was more of just an annoyance

Answer

It's a tricky situation, he has no right to get angry with you but I believe it's absolutely normal he gets frustrated (tinder is not!) As it's normal for you to have a low sex drive for all the reasons above. I think you guys need to talk about it and find a compromise. In my opinion sex is a very important part in a relationship so I think you should find a solution.

Answer

I don’t think you guys are compatible... for many reasons... 1.) he is cheating... 2.) it’s time to heal yourself with your own trauma, and maybe not be in a relationship (or at least a sexual one?) and 3) he clearly has a higher sex drive... and it’s important part of any relationship...

Answer

He for sure shouldn't be angry at something you can't help, but he does need to find a way to vent his frustration that you're both okay with. He's allowed to be frustrated.

Answer

Why aren’t you more angry? He made a tinder! Actively seeking attention from others.
Continue with treatment for depression, but once he’s out of the picture I’m sure you’ll feel much better too. You should not be belittled for not wanting sex. Yes, it’s an important aspect in a relationship but so isn’t respect.

Is it ever okay to get angry at your partner for them not wanting to have sex?

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