Questions about miscarriage

Hopefully I picked the right group for this since it seems they are starting to get really strict on what goes in which group..

Im going through my first pregnancy/miscarriage currently. I wasn’t very far along yet and emotionally i’ve dealt with it okay.

What I didn’t expect from it was how horrid and absolutely agonizing the pain would be. I’ve always considered myself to have a pretty high pain tolerance.. With this not so much. I avoided sleeping with my boyfriend in order to endure the pain alone .. I’m going on 29 this year and we’ve finally decided to start TTC.

Has anyone been terrified about TTC after a miscarriage? Everyone including some medical professionals have told me after my miscarriage clears and I am able to have sex again to resume trying because this is can be a high fertility time.

I have HPV and typically yearly I go through Biopsies to control precancerous cells .. if youve been through it you may know how painful that itself can be. So when anything happens that involves them having to poke around inside I’m always insanely nervous about pain. They did an internal ultrasound and luckily my boyfriend knows me enough to know by my body language that I was wanting to panic some.

After this miscarriage I’m still optimistic about trying to conceive.. but I’m also slightly petrified over it. I’m not sure if its the fear of another miscarriage or of sex hurting after a miscarriage or what it is .. but im curious if anyones felt this way 🤨 I guess as women we tend to feel a lot of pressure to conceive and worry about not being able to.