Wedding party hair and make up

Who do you think should be responsible to pay for the bridal party to get their hair and makeup professionally done?

A little backstory: My cousin and his fiancé (both male) asked me to be in their wedding party in January (which obviously is subject to change with covid). Of course I’m so excited and honored to be involved. We’ve talked a lot about things and they had mentioned to me (not sure about the other girls) that hair and make up was going to be part of our thank you gift thing. Well they just found out it’s $150 per girl and they don’t want to pay it so they’re expecting each of us to pay for our own. I talked to my cousin before this was a solid plan and explained that if that’s what they wanna do, they can’t expect everyone to get it done professionally because everyone has their own financial situations and whatever.

Now, I live halfway across the country so I’m going to have travel expenses. I also have a toddler and will have a newborn. My husband said I’ll probably have to just go by myself for the weekend because it’s too much for us all to go, which I agree.

Like I’m just really annoyed because I have to pay $130 for the dress, probably around $50 for shoes, $100 for a hotel the night before the wedding, at LEAST $200 for a plane ticket, and now $150 for hair and make up? It’s just not really doable for me. I’m a SAHM, my husband works but obviously we have priorities such as kids and a mortgage, etc..

I’m not even sure what to tell the grooms or how to even go about this. I talked to my husband and we both feel like we’re just not gonna give them a gift now because we can’t. It’s too much.

And this is kind of unrelated but I feel stupid throwing all this money away for their shit when I spent like $75 for their housewarming gift a couple years ago and they spent less than $10 on a gift for my daughter when she was born (almost 3 years ago.)

I know a lot of people are probably going to say I’m an asshole but I’m honestly just really stressed out and kind of really mad about this.